


In Adoration of Drowning Lovers

by What_a_lonely_lonely_love



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: CaBenson, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_a_lonely_lonely_love/pseuds/What_a_lonely_lonely_love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their love story had been unconventional; the woman who didn’t think she was worthy of love, but wanted it more than anything, and the seemingly ice queen who only focused on winning cases.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Adoration of Drowning Lovers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cabensonism (youhappenedovernight)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youhappenedovernight/gifts).



> A short one-shot I wrote on Olivia Benson and Alex Cabot's relationship. I sent it anonymously to Cabensonism on tumblr, so I figured I'd publish it here essentially in anonymity too. Because of Cabensonism I ship A/O so hard now that I can't even deal.

She'd never quite felt worthy of love before; never felt deserving enough to experience an emotion so pure and all-encompassing that wars have been waged and statues erected throughout time to protest its greatness. For so long she'd refused to let herself feel, choosing instead to incarcerate her feelings, and obliterate they key to ever unlocking them. It’d been a form of self-punishment she’d started at the age of thirteen, after learning her own dark origins. If someone said they loved her – which was a rarity, for not even her own mother said it - she’d say ‘thank-you’. If someone expressed any interest in her below the surface, she’d shrink away. Love wasn’t meant for the child of evil, a constant reminder of the worst night of Serena Benson’s life – a true living hell. 

But _She_ had changed all of that, with her sharp tongue, and quick wit, beautiful bright eyes and long silky blonde hair. She’d come from seemingly nowhere, dressed in a power suit with legs for days, and (to put it bluntly) Olivia had been sprung. She’d never been attracted to a woman before, but there was just something about Alex Cabot that pulled at Olivia’s heartstrings and created an undeniable thirst to rise in the pit of her stomach – a wetness to pool between her legs. And fear – of rejection, of judgment – and that of love had almost stopped her from pursing the beautiful blonde. She’d gone back and forth with herself for months on whether or not to act on her feelings. Was Alex into women? Was _she_ in to women? But the attraction between the two had been undeniable. 

And as undeniable as it’d been, old habits died hard. Olivia had tried to run – far away. She’d tried everything to push Alex away, even almost sleeping with a random man from the pub down her street. But Alex had never left – even when she’d been forced to leave - to go into witness protection, she’d stayed close to Olivia’s heart. And though at Alex’s behest, Olivia had tried to move on with many, many different men, Olivia never quite could. The men she shared her bed with always left her feeling used and despondent. Alex was her one and only. 

The cop and the lawyer had found love; and it’d taken Olivia forever to realize that she wasn’t going to let that go. Ever. 

Their love story had been unconventional; the woman who didn’t think she was worthy of love, but wanted it more than anything, and the seemingly ice queen who only focused on winning cases - statistics. 

There'd been long cold and lonely days in their relationship, followed by dark and depressing nights spent far apart from another. But for as many dark nights spent on opposite sides of the world, there'd been nights filled with heated sessions of intense lovemaking - slow caress and sweet nothings; listless days that reverberated with shared laughter. They'd survived it all, gangsters, gun fights, and even a sinister case of self-deprecation.

The rain beats against the windowpane as the night sky sings with stars in adoration of drowning lovers. On nights like this Olivia likes to ruminate on these thoughts and memories. She's finally realized that everything is right in the world and that she doesn't just have to survive; she can live, too. Alex is curled against her, their legs are intertwined, a thin sheet covers their bodies and Olivia lazily strokes a hand through Alex’s silky blonde tresses. The low hum of Alex's breathing, and the feeling of her heart beating against Olivia's skin lulls the brunette's eyes to a close. 

Olivia’s never quite felt worthy of love, but there’s something about the way Alex makes her feel, something in Alex’s smile and caress that lets Olivia know that she is indeed worthy of love. And there’s just _something_ about Alex that even makes Olivia love herself.


End file.
